...You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid.
Today brought a spark of almost-sort of-maybe progress for me. My production company has had the .com url for the group name for some time now, but up until today we'd done nothing with it. This was beginning to frustrate me as it was sitting there, professional, beautiful, and so empty. Thus, I took it upon myself to attempt to fill it. Having upgraded my MacBook to a MacBook Pro recently, I find myself in possession of a brilliant little piece of software called 'iWeb'. This is a website building program, and it is gloriously simple to use. No longer must I slave away at the nightmare that is Adobe Dreamweaver. After not a very long time at all, I have created all the necessary pages for the site, and put as much content on it as I can at the present moment. For those who are interested, I will post the link to the site at the end of this blog - though I cannot promise that the site will have updated - I'm no computer wizz, and I'm not quite sure how to post it to the domain.
On another positive note, our group has created an 'indiegogo' page and a rather cute little video to go alongside it. Indiegogo is a website through which people can obtain funding for projects that require a higher budget than they can produce through their own income - and since our documentary plans are quite ambitious, we will certainly require this funding. There are a number of 'perks' available to those who do donate, varying in value depending on the contribution they make. If you are interested in our documentary, or perhaps even feeling generous enough to aid us in the production of it, I will also be posting the link to our indiegogo page.
As time goes on, I am, admittedly, realising how ill-suited I am for time on-set in our productions. It is a shame, really, because I used to love setting up a camera and bringing my mental images into reality, although that didn't happen very often. This year of my course truly does seem to be about discovering the roles we want to/ should pursue as careers once we're finished with university, and as you will know, I have been struggling with this. We had a workshop directing two professional actors only yesterday, and I displayed my incredible ineptitude for directing quite plainly. When it came to seeing the actors perform, and thinking, 'That's not really how I imagined it', I would just stand there, looking at them. Their performances were always brilliant, but they weren't what I wanted, and I couldn't tell them. I seemed to lose the inability to speak, opening my mouth and hearing silence. Even when it came to calling 'action' and 'cut' my volume was so low that I had to say it twice on occasion, because the camera operators didn't hear me.
As one can see, I'm clearly not the right sort of person to be commanding a group of actors and crew members, and so I find myself experimenting behind the scenes. When devising our short drama film, my head began swimming with mental images of the main character, and as soon as I had contact with plain paper I was drawing him. So I'm now putting myself in the role of creating concept art for the piece. Another thing I recently discovered I enjoy is Adobe After Effects. Special Effects in film and television have always been something I am interested in, since I am a lover of the science fiction and fantasy genres. I never really thought of it as something for me to specialise in, but what I have done so far with the program has been relatively simple, and certainly good fun - though I realise that the better I want to get, the harder it will become to use. And finally, I have started attempting editing. Despite my disastrous performance of directing yesterday, we left the workshop with footage that is definitely 'good'. The chief editor within our group set us a challenge within group - we'll all have a little go at editing the piece and then compare the results after. I lept to the occasion with enthusiasm, and whilst I have found it somewhat difficult, I'm sure it could have been worse - and I am quite proud of my achievements for a first attempt. When I get a moment, I will upload these endeavours onto my personal youtube channel for all to see, and I will post that link in my next blog.
Links:
http://www.indiegogo.com/stamped?c=home
http://www.badduckproductions.com/SiteBad_Duck_Productions/Bad_Duck_Productions.html
So, for the first time in a while, I am rounding off a blog post on a positive note. Whilst I am still worried about whether I'm suited for the course, or whether I'll succeed in my attempts, I have finally found tasks that I can occupy myself with and enjoy, and I plan to focus on those. Thank you to all who have endured my ramblings.
Turn End,
Devan.
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
Monday, 14 January 2013
And This is the Way the World Ends...
...Not with a bang, but a whimper. Which, I'd say, is a pretty apt description of how I'm feeling.
Tomorrow I resume lectures at university, and there's no hiding it - I am, quite frankly, terrified. After my experiences last semester, my already low confidence levels in my abilities dwindled dramatically. I am painfully aware that I lack the experience and skill that a lot of my course mates possess, and unfortunately, to get the best results possible, it's best to put those with the experience in the important roles. This leaves those of us with the lesser knowledge unable to gain the experience necessary to match our peers, and so I worry that I'll just be floating around in the background.
I have resolved, however, that whilst I'll be taking a back seat to the tasks I once thought I'd greatly enjoy, that I will do what is within my power to raise my knowledge and capabilities outside the world of academia. I'll be taking my camera on various outings to practice with it, for example, and I plan on badgering group members to see if they'll let me watch as they go about their tasks - editing, for example, whilst not a skill I aspire to owning, will nevertheless be useful in the long run.
My current largest worry, with the impending lectures, is that I will struggle to enjoy them, as happened last semester, or that I will visibly struggle in front of my peers when embarking on the practical aspects which I know of the lectures will contain. This is where I must grit my teeth and simply do my best, whilst hoping I won't be the only one who isn't just naturally inclined towards all of the skills we will be learning and practicing. A particularly large hurdle in my improvement is that I am always nervous when observed doing things - with the exception of singing, during which I revel in the performance.
On a slightly more positive note, I returned to my university flat this Saturday, and found I settled back in rather easily. I had thought I would miss all of the comforts of my bedroom at home, but found that when absorbed in my computer or some other form of entertainment that it barely mattered. I also feel as though I've had better sleep the past few days than my last few at home - be that down to unnecessary worry or simply coincidence I'm not sure.
It is now a fortnight into 2013, and I can happily say that I have actually been somewhat successful with my new year's resolutions: I haven't had any Mountain Dew since well before New Years, and I have been eating better - and fully plan to continue doing so. This is my second blog within the fortnight, and so I can say that I have been blogging more often already. My final resolution, that of flattening my stomach, is one I have yet to start, but I haven't had much of a chance - such things don't happen overnight, after all. Once I have settled into a routine with university work and general life, I will work in my efforts to improve my physical appearance.
This particular blog post has been a rather worry-strewn, emotional piece, and so I must thank you, the reader, for reading all the way through my concerns, which may one day seem petty even to me. And with that, I believe I have run out of things to talk about, and so I bid you farewell.
Turn End,
Devan
Tomorrow I resume lectures at university, and there's no hiding it - I am, quite frankly, terrified. After my experiences last semester, my already low confidence levels in my abilities dwindled dramatically. I am painfully aware that I lack the experience and skill that a lot of my course mates possess, and unfortunately, to get the best results possible, it's best to put those with the experience in the important roles. This leaves those of us with the lesser knowledge unable to gain the experience necessary to match our peers, and so I worry that I'll just be floating around in the background.
I have resolved, however, that whilst I'll be taking a back seat to the tasks I once thought I'd greatly enjoy, that I will do what is within my power to raise my knowledge and capabilities outside the world of academia. I'll be taking my camera on various outings to practice with it, for example, and I plan on badgering group members to see if they'll let me watch as they go about their tasks - editing, for example, whilst not a skill I aspire to owning, will nevertheless be useful in the long run.
My current largest worry, with the impending lectures, is that I will struggle to enjoy them, as happened last semester, or that I will visibly struggle in front of my peers when embarking on the practical aspects which I know of the lectures will contain. This is where I must grit my teeth and simply do my best, whilst hoping I won't be the only one who isn't just naturally inclined towards all of the skills we will be learning and practicing. A particularly large hurdle in my improvement is that I am always nervous when observed doing things - with the exception of singing, during which I revel in the performance.
On a slightly more positive note, I returned to my university flat this Saturday, and found I settled back in rather easily. I had thought I would miss all of the comforts of my bedroom at home, but found that when absorbed in my computer or some other form of entertainment that it barely mattered. I also feel as though I've had better sleep the past few days than my last few at home - be that down to unnecessary worry or simply coincidence I'm not sure.
It is now a fortnight into 2013, and I can happily say that I have actually been somewhat successful with my new year's resolutions: I haven't had any Mountain Dew since well before New Years, and I have been eating better - and fully plan to continue doing so. This is my second blog within the fortnight, and so I can say that I have been blogging more often already. My final resolution, that of flattening my stomach, is one I have yet to start, but I haven't had much of a chance - such things don't happen overnight, after all. Once I have settled into a routine with university work and general life, I will work in my efforts to improve my physical appearance.
This particular blog post has been a rather worry-strewn, emotional piece, and so I must thank you, the reader, for reading all the way through my concerns, which may one day seem petty even to me. And with that, I believe I have run out of things to talk about, and so I bid you farewell.
Turn End,
Devan
Monday, 7 January 2013
It's the Final Countdown...
...Or not.
Tomorrow is the hand in day for my final piece of coursework for year 2 semester one at university. I spent the majority of yesterday afternoon, and the entirety of today working on it, and it has finally been uploaded and sent off for marking.
We were tasked with creating a youtube style video which talked about one of the topics we had discussed in our lectures for that module. Sensing an opportunity to talk about one of my great loves - the 'brony' fandom - I settled on the topic of 'quality'. My video goes into detail about the ways in which the show My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic attracts an audience of older teens and young adults alongside its target audience of primary school aged children (predominantly girls), and how this reflects on the quality of the franchise as a whole.
During the process of filming my 'v-log' I encountered a number of issues. Initially, I struggled to remember any of the lines I had written as a script. My constant failure with saying more than one sentence to a camera caused me to get ridiculously stressed and I had to stop for the night, as it was getting late and I knew it would take a while to calm down. I woke up today with renewed hope for filming the piece, as, at the advice of a friend, I had created 'cue cards' which i propped up just below my camera that I could reference whilst recording. Thus, the problem of speech was (almost) cured.
My next challenge was correctly focusing the camera. As I haven't got a tripod at home, my camera was placed on a pile of books at the right height and distance to achieve a good framing. My camera, however, does not have a flip screen, and I don't own a monitor. I was focusing on the back of the chair, my foot kicking out roughly to where my head would be, and eventually I asked my brother to sit in the chair. The focus problem was almost fixed then, but with my constantly getting up and checking on the camera as I recorded in segments, it was always at risk of being slightly out of focus.
When I had recorded all the clips for my video, which had taken about half of the day, I began putting them together on my computer. For some reason, there was a colour variance in the clips, although the lighting didn't change, and nor did my position - by a particularly considerable amount, anyway. I fiddled for a while in Premier Pro, and did my best to sort out the issue. The final product, I feel, did not come out too badly.
So, eventually, after blood, sweat and tears - well, maybe not blood, but there was certainly sweat and tears, and a few pulled hairs - I had completed my youtube video. There are a few things, had I the time, that I would improve on, but for a first attempt, with the constraints I had, I'd say it's not all that bad. For those interested, I bid you farewell with the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25hQafLum1g&feature=youtu.be
Turn End,
Devan.
Tomorrow is the hand in day for my final piece of coursework for year 2 semester one at university. I spent the majority of yesterday afternoon, and the entirety of today working on it, and it has finally been uploaded and sent off for marking.
We were tasked with creating a youtube style video which talked about one of the topics we had discussed in our lectures for that module. Sensing an opportunity to talk about one of my great loves - the 'brony' fandom - I settled on the topic of 'quality'. My video goes into detail about the ways in which the show My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic attracts an audience of older teens and young adults alongside its target audience of primary school aged children (predominantly girls), and how this reflects on the quality of the franchise as a whole.
During the process of filming my 'v-log' I encountered a number of issues. Initially, I struggled to remember any of the lines I had written as a script. My constant failure with saying more than one sentence to a camera caused me to get ridiculously stressed and I had to stop for the night, as it was getting late and I knew it would take a while to calm down. I woke up today with renewed hope for filming the piece, as, at the advice of a friend, I had created 'cue cards' which i propped up just below my camera that I could reference whilst recording. Thus, the problem of speech was (almost) cured.
My next challenge was correctly focusing the camera. As I haven't got a tripod at home, my camera was placed on a pile of books at the right height and distance to achieve a good framing. My camera, however, does not have a flip screen, and I don't own a monitor. I was focusing on the back of the chair, my foot kicking out roughly to where my head would be, and eventually I asked my brother to sit in the chair. The focus problem was almost fixed then, but with my constantly getting up and checking on the camera as I recorded in segments, it was always at risk of being slightly out of focus.
When I had recorded all the clips for my video, which had taken about half of the day, I began putting them together on my computer. For some reason, there was a colour variance in the clips, although the lighting didn't change, and nor did my position - by a particularly considerable amount, anyway. I fiddled for a while in Premier Pro, and did my best to sort out the issue. The final product, I feel, did not come out too badly.
So, eventually, after blood, sweat and tears - well, maybe not blood, but there was certainly sweat and tears, and a few pulled hairs - I had completed my youtube video. There are a few things, had I the time, that I would improve on, but for a first attempt, with the constraints I had, I'd say it's not all that bad. For those interested, I bid you farewell with the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25hQafLum1g&feature=youtu.be
Turn End,
Devan.
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