Sometimes, in the crazy haze of work and busyness, you've just got to stop and think. There may be an enormous amount of things to do, but will rushing to get as much done as quickly as possible really produce the best results? By doing things for the sake of it, the end product will come out rushed and of much lower quality than if you took time and care throughout the process. And if you're not in the mood to work, if you do so regardless what you make is bound to be doomed to a lesser grade, or lower praise.
Deadlines are closing in for my coursework modules and I am panicking. To most, on the outside I'm calm, comfortable, maybe even confident in what work I have got done. But in actuality, inside I am running circles, certain that no matter what I've done I haven't done enough work. And when I'm not forcing myself awake until 3am trying unsuccessfully to produce as much written work as possible, I'm sat around doing nothing, knowing I should be doing something, but finding myself incapable of lifting a finger. This is one of the worst sensations ever - knowing what must be done but lacking the 'oomph' to do so, and then worrying that everyone will hate you for being like that.
But what if that is a good thing? Sure, my university work is the most important thing for me at the moment, and all of my time and attention should be spent getting the best grade I can, but is that really healthy? We're burning ourselves out spending extended periods of time trying to improve on the quantity of work we get done - only yesterday a group of us stayed on the university campus for 9 hours and upon returning home, got on with some more work - but at present I'm sat curled up in my duvet writing this out, rather than, say, researching Nick Broomfield like I ought to be. Are these long sessions of work causing us to have even longer periods of what I shall now lovingly dub 'Can't be Arsed Syndrome'? Is it perhaps our way of telling ourselves 'woah, cool off, you're trying to do too much!'? Maybe.
So for now, whilst I know I ought to be doing work, the more I try to force myself to do, the harder it will be for me to do any, so I will rest during this period of time. I'll do something fun, or just chat to my friends, or maybe embark on a much-needed raid of the fridge. -insert sound of grumbling stomach here- I know that soon enough that urge to do work will come back, because of how important it is, and I will take the moment firmly with both hands, and make the most out of it.
This may just sound like a lazy student trying to excuse her lack of action, but I know from experience that if I try to do any of it now, whilst suffering from 'CBAS', that nothing will get done and I'll be more frustrated than ever, whereas if I wait it out I may well pull an amazing piece of work out of the bag and stun everyone. You never know.
So today, I don't feel like doing anything. And maybe that's okay.
Turn End.
Devan.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Thursday, 9 August 2012
When the Feeling's Gone and You Can't Hold On...
Well that went well. Haha. That relationship was 4 or 5 months of generally speaking good times, but I certainly rushed into the event. No offence intended towards my ex, but I definitely wasn't ready to embark on the journey of a relationship when I did so, and I must admit to being glad that it ended, for surely it could not remain a stable relationship when I can barely control my emotions and the other could not deal with this fact. So thank you, for giving me those months of happiness, and my apologies for causing you such grief as our relationship came to its close.
Meanwhile I have finished my first year of university, and discovered that I passed and am going through to my second year of study. Huzzah! And to add to that good news, I re-enrolled, because apparently if one does not do so one essentially gives up their place on the course - and now I'm rambling. As I was saying, I re-enrolled, and have been told the modules I will be taking. For one of these modules we had a choice of two potential topics, Enterprise or Studio Skills. I, as did most of my course-mates, wished to take Studio Skills, but it was given that some people would not get their chosen option. I, however, did, and so I am very happy. After all, business is not my strong suit, and I wish to work in the field of Media Production, so learning studio skills will be much more helpful.
And at the end of this month, I move into my new flat with my course-mate and best friend at university. I can tell that home will be great fun during my second year, living alongside almost equal silliness to my own. This year will also be more convenient, for the flat is on the doorstep of the town, whereas the house I lived in last year was a mile away from anything.
The topic of accommodation leads me to my next joyful revelation. Last year I struggled throughout both semesters as I have difficulties with forms, and as such submitted my student finance wrongly, so I never had any money left over for survival, and was only able to successfully pay rent alone once. However, with the help of my father, over the summer I have embarked on a well-paying full-time job, the money from which I will be using to live during my next year at university (just like a grown up, yay!), and hopefully I will have some left over to assist with my hobby of cosplaying, or buying my own equipment for media production. The one misfortune to this job is that it is 9-5, Monday to Friday, so my free time and what I can do in it is very limited. It does, however, mean that when I get to spend time with my friends it is made better by the fact I won't have done similarly recently.
The time is drawing nearer to my return to university and to the prettiest city I have ever visited. Much as I love the people here, I cannot wait to return there and to my studies, as I found the last year highly enjoyable. I will also be closer to other people and places I rarely get to see otherwise, which is another upside. And now I have run out of topics on which to ramble, and so, for now, I bid you adieu.
Turn End.
Devan.
Meanwhile I have finished my first year of university, and discovered that I passed and am going through to my second year of study. Huzzah! And to add to that good news, I re-enrolled, because apparently if one does not do so one essentially gives up their place on the course - and now I'm rambling. As I was saying, I re-enrolled, and have been told the modules I will be taking. For one of these modules we had a choice of two potential topics, Enterprise or Studio Skills. I, as did most of my course-mates, wished to take Studio Skills, but it was given that some people would not get their chosen option. I, however, did, and so I am very happy. After all, business is not my strong suit, and I wish to work in the field of Media Production, so learning studio skills will be much more helpful.
And at the end of this month, I move into my new flat with my course-mate and best friend at university. I can tell that home will be great fun during my second year, living alongside almost equal silliness to my own. This year will also be more convenient, for the flat is on the doorstep of the town, whereas the house I lived in last year was a mile away from anything.
The topic of accommodation leads me to my next joyful revelation. Last year I struggled throughout both semesters as I have difficulties with forms, and as such submitted my student finance wrongly, so I never had any money left over for survival, and was only able to successfully pay rent alone once. However, with the help of my father, over the summer I have embarked on a well-paying full-time job, the money from which I will be using to live during my next year at university (just like a grown up, yay!), and hopefully I will have some left over to assist with my hobby of cosplaying, or buying my own equipment for media production. The one misfortune to this job is that it is 9-5, Monday to Friday, so my free time and what I can do in it is very limited. It does, however, mean that when I get to spend time with my friends it is made better by the fact I won't have done similarly recently.
The time is drawing nearer to my return to university and to the prettiest city I have ever visited. Much as I love the people here, I cannot wait to return there and to my studies, as I found the last year highly enjoyable. I will also be closer to other people and places I rarely get to see otherwise, which is another upside. And now I have run out of topics on which to ramble, and so, for now, I bid you adieu.
Turn End.
Devan.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Because cereal for breakfast is way too mainstream...
Haha, oww. Time to kickstart this blog - finally - with my eardrums still slightly tender. In true student style, my housemate successfully set off every smoke alarm in the house whilst cooking pancakes. This could be seen as payback or karma, since I set off an alarm or two doing the same at about 12:10 am on pancake day. We have 3 smoke alarms in our house, and it seems as though each is set off by the others, though I doubt this is really the case. There is also a 'panic' alarm for our house. On this occasion, the three smoke alarms went off...and didn't stop. This in turn somehow seemed to activate the 'panic' alarm, thus rendering the household an ear-piercing cacophony of LOUD. After about 5 minutes of frantic flapping with tea towels, and opening multiple windows and doors, the alarms finally - and rather abruptly - shut up. Well, that was certainly an adventure, one my ears would rather not repeat, but nevertheless, no harm was done.
Following the theme of a 'student lifestyle', I had a glorious bowl of honey-nut cornflakes for my dinner, thus inspiring the title of this post. It is hard, to be poor, hungry, and not in the mood for any of the consumables in the cupboard. Thank goodness for cereal! So that's my belly filled nicely.
I'm somehow already more than half way through my second semester here at university, which is slightly daunting due to the high volume of work still left to do, however, that work still proves itself, for the most part, to be very enjoyable. There have been several conflicts within my workgroups, for the most part with one particular group member, which has caused myself and another great personal discomfort and inconvenience. Add to that the fact we both struggle with confrontation, and we're worried nothing will get done and she'll never learn to change. This aside, my relationships with housemates and other course-mates are good and developing more as time goes on, which is certainly a helpful boost to my self confidence.
And now, the final feature, and probably the most important recent event in my mind. On the 17th December, 2011, I left the 'single scene', having found someone accepting enough of my strangeness to willingly ask me to become their partner. This is yet another step-up to my gaining personal confidence, and it is fantastic to have someone so suited to myself to share experiences with. This relationship is different to any I have been in previously due to a large distance gap, however this has yet to (and hopefully never will!) affect us, with the exception of making the occasions we do spend together all the more special. Here I would like to add a thank you - for entering my life, for seeing who I truly am and accepting me regardless, and for being willing to become so much more than the amazing friend you already are.
So that's all I have to say at the present moment, and here's to hoping in the future I have more to write about on this blog...it's hardly a record of my ramblings with no actual rambling occuring, after all. So now, I bid you, the reader, farewell.
Turn End.
Devan.
Following the theme of a 'student lifestyle', I had a glorious bowl of honey-nut cornflakes for my dinner, thus inspiring the title of this post. It is hard, to be poor, hungry, and not in the mood for any of the consumables in the cupboard. Thank goodness for cereal! So that's my belly filled nicely.
I'm somehow already more than half way through my second semester here at university, which is slightly daunting due to the high volume of work still left to do, however, that work still proves itself, for the most part, to be very enjoyable. There have been several conflicts within my workgroups, for the most part with one particular group member, which has caused myself and another great personal discomfort and inconvenience. Add to that the fact we both struggle with confrontation, and we're worried nothing will get done and she'll never learn to change. This aside, my relationships with housemates and other course-mates are good and developing more as time goes on, which is certainly a helpful boost to my self confidence.
And now, the final feature, and probably the most important recent event in my mind. On the 17th December, 2011, I left the 'single scene', having found someone accepting enough of my strangeness to willingly ask me to become their partner. This is yet another step-up to my gaining personal confidence, and it is fantastic to have someone so suited to myself to share experiences with. This relationship is different to any I have been in previously due to a large distance gap, however this has yet to (and hopefully never will!) affect us, with the exception of making the occasions we do spend together all the more special. Here I would like to add a thank you - for entering my life, for seeing who I truly am and accepting me regardless, and for being willing to become so much more than the amazing friend you already are.
So that's all I have to say at the present moment, and here's to hoping in the future I have more to write about on this blog...it's hardly a record of my ramblings with no actual rambling occuring, after all. So now, I bid you, the reader, farewell.
Turn End.
Devan.
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