Sometimes, in the crazy haze of work and busyness, you've just got to stop and think. There may be an enormous amount of things to do, but will rushing to get as much done as quickly as possible really produce the best results? By doing things for the sake of it, the end product will come out rushed and of much lower quality than if you took time and care throughout the process. And if you're not in the mood to work, if you do so regardless what you make is bound to be doomed to a lesser grade, or lower praise.
Deadlines are closing in for my coursework modules and I am panicking. To most, on the outside I'm calm, comfortable, maybe even confident in what work I have got done. But in actuality, inside I am running circles, certain that no matter what I've done I haven't done enough work. And when I'm not forcing myself awake until 3am trying unsuccessfully to produce as much written work as possible, I'm sat around doing nothing, knowing I should be doing something, but finding myself incapable of lifting a finger. This is one of the worst sensations ever - knowing what must be done but lacking the 'oomph' to do so, and then worrying that everyone will hate you for being like that.
But what if that is a good thing? Sure, my university work is the most important thing for me at the moment, and all of my time and attention should be spent getting the best grade I can, but is that really healthy? We're burning ourselves out spending extended periods of time trying to improve on the quantity of work we get done - only yesterday a group of us stayed on the university campus for 9 hours and upon returning home, got on with some more work - but at present I'm sat curled up in my duvet writing this out, rather than, say, researching Nick Broomfield like I ought to be. Are these long sessions of work causing us to have even longer periods of what I shall now lovingly dub 'Can't be Arsed Syndrome'? Is it perhaps our way of telling ourselves 'woah, cool off, you're trying to do too much!'? Maybe.
So for now, whilst I know I ought to be doing work, the more I try to force myself to do, the harder it will be for me to do any, so I will rest during this period of time. I'll do something fun, or just chat to my friends, or maybe embark on a much-needed raid of the fridge. -insert sound of grumbling stomach here- I know that soon enough that urge to do work will come back, because of how important it is, and I will take the moment firmly with both hands, and make the most out of it.
This may just sound like a lazy student trying to excuse her lack of action, but I know from experience that if I try to do any of it now, whilst suffering from 'CBAS', that nothing will get done and I'll be more frustrated than ever, whereas if I wait it out I may well pull an amazing piece of work out of the bag and stun everyone. You never know.
So today, I don't feel like doing anything. And maybe that's okay.
Turn End.
Devan.
